


When the Evening Falls, and I'm Left There With My Thoughts

by Snapp



Series: Adventures of Fox the Tooka [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Songfic, We Miss Ponds, angst with a semi-happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25770733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapp/pseuds/Snapp
Summary: Based off this comment by Edia1027"I can totally see Wolffe getting drunk and running to Fox to take him back and begging him to leave Thron."So, I did a post confession conversation.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox/CC-3636 | Wolffe (past), CC-1010 | Fox/Thorn
Series: Adventures of Fox the Tooka [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895851
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	When the Evening Falls, and I'm Left There With My Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ediaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ediaa/gifts).



> This is after Part 5, when I write more then I'll update what Parts this is between.

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

Wolffe stalked to the roof, bleeding heavily from his temple, and limping as his ankle screamed. He heard Thorn spewing insults behind him as Thire and Stone held him back while Fox talked him down quietly.

Wolffe slumped down. He leaned back into the railing and understood the appeal of being here. The cool breeze ruffled his hair, cooling his flushed cheeks. It was too dark to really get a clear view, everything was draped with the dim blue of the morning and bright yellow from the city below him. It was peaceful, away from any form of contact at the moment. He waited, whether it be Thorn coming for another round or Thire and Stone to give him a peace of their mind.

It was odd, vode he hadn’t ever really interacted with having such a big affect on his life. 

“Wolffe.” Wolffe cringed, waiting for the shouting, the anger. Before he realized that Fox wasn't like that, Fox would force everything to the back of his mind, until he was alone, so he could release it without hurting anyone.

He turned to Fox, sitting on the ledge, his once bright and curious eyes now emotionless as Neyo's, tracked the rising sun and the traffic below, bright lights of the city replacing the deep whiskey that he had on Kamino.

_When the morning comes_

_When we see what we've become_

_In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind_

_Not the fire that we've begun_

Wolffe felt something flip in his stomach, this is what got him in this situation, thinking lowly of Fox, thinking the worst. He remembered in those barracks a few weeks ago when he realized...when he realized that Fox had moved on, that he had fucked up unreparidly and now Fox was gone. 

Gone were the stupid nicknames, the late night booze raids that ended with laughing and cuddling. Gone were Fox’s large curious eyes, his cute cheeks and slight build that would fit perfectly against Wolffe. Gone were soft kisses and amazing post sex cuddles. Gone was soft curly hair that Wolffe adored and loved to scratch that came with the adorable purrs that only he would receive, the steady hands that always calmed him.

Wolffe had left Fox behind, he had left him alone. To be tortured, used. He had believed him to be safe; and, in his resentment for something that was no fault of Fox's, abandoned Fox to a fate worse than death.

But Thorn had been there. Wolffe knew this now, Thorn had Fox’s back when it was supposed to be Wolffe standing there, Thorn had picked up the shards of Fox’s breaking soul and there was nothing Wolffe could change.

And Wolffe had the audacity, the stupidity, to ask that Fox would leave Thorn, who was there for him when he needed Wolffe the most, to go back to him, the man who had shattered his heart. 

Wolffe made himself a promise that he would steel himself, that no matter what Fox said--whether verbal or nonverbal, he would agree and walk away with whatever consequences with a strained smile.

If Fox wanted him to leave his representative position and replace him with Bly or Bacara or Faie or whoever else, Wolffe would agree; if Fox wanted him to spend his the rest of his days ten feet away at all times, Wolffe would agree; Fox didn’t want him even on the same planet, the same system, Wolffe would agree (except for Hoth, he refused to go back to that ice cube).

Wolffe was briefly brought back to Geonosis, his squad a few clicks North of Fox’s. He remembers seeing an explosion, the alarm ringing in his mind, the _oh gods he’s gone, this was his first battle and gods he’s dead and what will we do without him there._ He remembers moving quickly over, briefly catching a glimpse of what he knew to be Fox in his heart, laying of the bright gold sand that had been rapidly turning red underneath him, the same red that Wolffe would eventually see him wearing on his chest.

He remembered when the Malevolence took nearly his entire battalion. Fox had been there, sitting next to him, a silent promise of the future. Wolffe remembered the anger, the resentment as Fox was there, remembered yelling at him, asking him _how dare you assume what I am feeling? You sit and babysit a bunch of uppity Senators while good men are dying._

Fox had said nothing, but hadn’t moved. But Wolffe saw it, the minuscule flash of hurt, and that made him feel even worse. He immediately apologized, but that had been the beginning of the end for them. 

When Wolffe had lost his eye to a sith apprentice, Fox was there too, a new scar across his face and a somber expression, eyes devoid of anything. He looked awful and Wolffe was so confused as to what was happening. 

But that vanished as he looked into Fox’s worried expression. He sat with him for the rest of the night, taking everything that Wolffe threw at him, weathering through like Wolffe had been Prime. Wolffe felt less terrible that time, Fox deserved it. 

_Every argument, every word we can't take back_

_'Cause with the all that has happened_

_I think that we both know the way that this story ends_

But Fox hadn’t. He didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t deserve all the punishments he took for them on Kamino while covering their asses, he didn’t deserve to nearly die in his first battle, he didn’t deserve to be a decoration to give the illusion of Coruscant safety, he didn’t deserve to have his mind and body violated and used, he didn’t deserve dealing with a sith lord on a regular basis, and he didn’t deserve to be told that nobody likes him by the man who held his heart in the palm of his hand while being tortured and used by one of the most cruel beings in the galaxy. 

But he didn’t deserve Fox, not anymore.

They had changed, both for the worse and better. They were older and supposedly wiser. They had both experienced terrible things that would’ve killed a lesser man. 

He had grown angrier, the loss of his battalion and his eye had broken him for a while. The bubbling rage had been one of the first things, his core was burning, the desire for vengeance on everything and everyone was getting too much. He was losing control and he wasn’t blind to the fact he had subconsciously blamed Fox, for Fox used to always been there, his peaceful demeanor and somber eyes. 

Fox had changed too, his eyes had a permanent chilliness and darkness. His face had become gaunt and his heart had been cracked and sealed by Coruscant, by deceitful politicians and cunning Sith Lords. He had been stuck watching for so long whenever an opportunity came for action he bolted for it. He knew that the Fox they left on Geonosis was never going back to what he was before. 

“I can’t give you what you want.” Fox whispered shakily, wringing his hands nervously and Wolffe felt even worse.

“I know, and I wouldn’t want you to,” Wolffe said honestly.

Fox looked at him, cocking his head in confusion, “what?”

“If you left Thorn to go back to me, would it be because you wanted it, or because it would make me feel better?”

_Then only for a minute_

_I want to change my mind_

_'Cause this just don't feel right to me_

Fox stayed silent and that was all the answer Wolffe needed,

“Fox’ika, if I had been in your shoes, I would’ve been raging. I would have rubbed it in until the wound had more salt than the entirety than Crait. I would have screamed it from the tallest buildings until my voice gave out. I would make sure to double the pain that had been inflicted on me, make sure that there wasn’t a Force-damned soul who didn’t know about what I’d been put through and who put me through it.” 

Wolffe breathed in deeply before ending it with one question, “but why didn’t you?”

Fox looked at him, and Wolffe made sure to memorize those eyes, so he could at least see them in his reflection if he imagined hard enough in case he never got to see them again.

“I never blamed you, I never blamed any of you,” Fox sighed shakily, “I understood you were doing what you needed to to continue, I only wish I knew what I did to have it coming.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, nothing between any of us was on you,” at Fox's doubtful look, Wolffe continued, "you were always the best of us, easily had the most potential, no matter how much Fett and the Kaminii tried to snuff it. We all looked up to you, even me, we all wanted to follow in your steps, wanted to be as good as you were."

Fox scoffed, and Wolffe sighed, "always had something to respond with, a clever quip or blast-proof argument. You always had our backs, but when it was our turn to cover you, we left you high and dry. And I’m willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

He nodded, but looked down and Wolffe got worried, _is this when he tells me to leave?_ “I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon…” he warned quietly.

“I’m in this for the long haul, we were known for our stubbornness on Kamino, I can assure nothing’s changed there,”

Fox huffed, “yeah, probably why we were always seconds away from death.”

_I wanna raise your spirits_

_I want to see you smile but_

_Know that means I'll have to leave_

“Ponds used to say the same thing,”

“Ponds was always light years ahead of us,” Fox chuckled.

“He was,” Wolffe agreed, “he was a good man.”

“The best,”

Wolffe smiled thinly, “I miss him.”

“Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la.” Fox whispered, closing his eyes. 

Wolffe nodded in agreement, but despite Fox’s grieved voice his eyes and face remained cold, Wolffe’s heart broke to wonder what made it like this. 

"You were good, the best of us Fox," Wolffe said honestly, "you were always going to do great things, I'm glad I survived to see them."

"Why?" Fox asked, looking out at the city once more, "why did you leave?"

"Because I was stupid," was all Wolffe could say, _because that's all it was, Wolffe had made stupid mistake, he had played stupids games and won an awful prize_.

"Do you regret being with me?"

"Of course not, the best times I remember were when I called you mine," Wolffe responded honestly, "but those times are over, for both our sakes. We've grown up, we're no longer cadets shagging it up in a hall closet or midnight frolicking in each others' bunks."

_Know that means I'll have to leave_

_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_

Fox gave him a once over, giving him a small smile, "thank you," he breathed, and Wolffe knew that he was making the right decision. 

Wolffe nodded, and Fox spoke again, “I don’t blame any of you, and while it still hurts sometimes, I’m willing to work to fix it.”

“You should,” Wolffe whispered, “and I’m so sorry for everything.”

Wolffe looked at Fox closely, pulling him into a hug, one that Fox returned. They both sat like that as the sun rose over Coruscant. He could feel his blacks getting wet, and if a few tears ran down his own face, no one mentioned it. 

And deep inside his bruised but healing heart, he knew that everything would be okay. That while he wouldn’t ever have Fox in the capacity he once had, perhaps not everything was lost. 

_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

**Author's Note:**

> Title and Lyrics from Happier-Marshmello ft. Bastille
> 
> (I watched the official video and I forgot how sad it was and literally cried for the first time this year and hugged my dog)


End file.
